Monday, 11 May 2009

"Its been a bad day baby I just don’t know" The Charlatans

Contrary to what the title of this post suggests this is not the rant-type ramblings that have became all too common on this blog. No, not this time.

Things have changed, my situations have changed and it’s now time to say goodbye to the past and hello to all new things to come.

So here go all the updates:

Mr X and I are solely friends; I refuse completely to let anything else happen there. It is too painful and too confusing. We work as friends, not as anything more. Admittedly we don’t talk as much as we used to and I would be lying if I said this wasn’t upsetting but at the same time, it is far better like this than it would be if anything else were to happen.

He still confuses me, as much as ever but i’m all done there, no matter what happens now; we are friends and nothing more. My choice and one I am now comfortable with.

I am sticking to the single life. Focusing on work (god knows I have plenty to be getting on with) and focusing on getting myself back in gear.

On the subject of work, the enormity of what I have taken on has really hit me. It happened on Friday when a vital part of our team pulled out. Suddenly it dawned on me that even with this person on board, I am in big trouble. I am counting solely on my own determination to succeed and my need to prove myself within this organisation to get me through.

Everything is on my head at the moment and we are rapidly running out of time. (8 weeks today to be exact). I am working with an amazing team around me and I hope to god that it will come together.

I have been very good in keeping up running. My fitness as well as my mood is getting better everyday. Unfortunately this week I have come down with the cold meaning that I have had to take things very easy but I’ll be able to get back in action by next week I think.

All in all I feel that things are beginning to look up for me. I feel more in control of most areas of my life, other than work and family, (that is another blog post altogether!) but I think to myself that very few people are in control of these aspects. We can develop knowledge in both areas, but becoming expert enough in these subjects to be in control of them… that takes a whole different kind of person.


  1. ranting on blogs. Honestly, that's what they are best for!! :)

    Re: Andrew. Yeah, probably the best situation and I can definitely relate to feeling pangs of sadness about it all too.

    I've had a bit of a touch of sadness lately too. My old friend John from the other side of the country and I have decided not to speak anymore (well, minus occassional email updates)...he resurrected me after the Colin fiasco, so that's a bit sad, but I was headed that way anyway (out of the picture I mean*L*). *shrugs*

    Sounds like the work stuff os going great! (Albeit very stressful...just think back to the hook or by crook you can do it!! :) )

    Sounds like the running is going well too! Good on ya!! :)

    Did my parcel arrive yet??
    Miss you tons!

  2. I'm so sorry to hear about you and John :( *hig hugs*

    My love life is nothing short of a total disaster at the moment. I don't even want to go in to it.

    Still running, it is a great way of escaping from everything. I love it and I'm getting slowly but surely fitter.

    I love your list of things to do before 36 - amazing list!

    I have never received your parcel :(
    When did you post? It can take up to a few months I think?

    Miss you honey xx