Monday, 26 January 2009

O' The Puddin' Race

Last night I treated Andrew and my Auzzie, and Kiwi housemates to a traditional Burn’s Supper. I added a Whisky sauce to keep it current.

Everyone seemed to enjoy it and after eating far too much and having a good chat over a glass of wine (and whisky, and Irn Bru…) everyone parted in merry spirits.

Then I went to bed – with me, the sure fire way of knowing that everything in my head isn’t quite right is when I go to bed exhausted and toss and turn all night with only the most meagre helping of sleep. Last night I received a grand total of 2 hours slumber and today both my body and brain feel drained.

To make myself feel better this morning I did the ‘love yourself stupid” thing. I got a little over dressed for work, spent a while on hair and makeup and left the house feeling pretty good about myself despite my sleep deprivation. I got a new hairstyle last week so played with that and added a little extra eye makeup and a bit of lippy, just for good luck.

It does help - It's like putting on the “I’m ok” mask. I have always had to ability to convince myself I’m completely fine when I’m actually not doing great. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not doing too bad just now either! I have so much to be thankful for – I’m going to remind myself with a little list –

I have a job that I love
I have lovely housemates,
I have amazing friends and even though we don’t always see each other, I know they are there
I have a family who are all in reasonable health
I will be going back up north in about 8 weeks,
I will be seeing my mum in about 4 weeks,
There are people down here who are looking out for me
I have all my limbs

All this has to be good news.

Maybe it’s because I feel a bit out of control again. Feeling out of control of certain areas of my life tends to make me revert to old habits and sink into myself which isn’t quite so good.

Well busy day in work today - System support in causing havok on the machines. I should go.

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