Saturday, 12 December 2009

Telling yourself you told you so...?

Currently Playing: Dream On - Christian Falk feat Robyn. (My fantasyland song)

Knowing that you were both right and wrong proves both upsetting and strangely comforting. You discover that the negative pessimistic side of you was correct, while the positive, hopeful and optimistic side of you is left to go and sulk in a corner. The problem is, each time the positive side disappears to a corner, it takes longer and longer to lure it back out.

So TH turned out to be a rat and not just a normal rat, but a super rat. He put so much effort in to acting like something that he clearly is not that I almost pity him.

When we are played so badly, we kick ourselves, we know that we should have known it was too perfect. We should have known that while it temporarily appeared we were living in a 1930s romance novel we would come round and realse it was actually a modern day trashy read of the typical boy screws over girl story... but who doesn't want to feel amazing?

I am so grateful to my negative / pessimistic side right now. It has kept TH at arms left and kept me safe - people like him can't hurt me. Not any more.

You won't be pushed or messed with tonight
you won't be lied to, ruffed up tonight
You won't be insane, paranoid, obsessed
aimlessly wandering through the dark night
(Christian Falk - Dream On)


  1. damn.

    Obviously I need details about the ratishness of the situation. I am glad though that you did trust your instincts and weren't hurt terribly, but rather very very dissappointed that he wasn't who he made himself out to be.

  2. Quite a fresh blog - my first post here. I have to admit, when I read the he cut a clipping from the paper, I was indeed questioning what decade we were in. I guess something was fishy - or ratty. Nice blogging.
    Cheers and howdy from Texas- PatricktheRogue