Catching Up is Hard to Do

The Future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.C.S. Lewis

Trying to catch up on the past eight months is not do-able for the time being, however here are 10 points, in no particular order, to bring me back up to speed.

1) Home
I now live with the lovely man in the post prior to this one. He is as ever, incredible. Some cracks are beginning to show (i.e. he can't cook, clean and enjoys partying a bit much for me) but all in all, he is great and everything is going well.

2) Career
Late last year I was offered a job by a fantastic digital distribution company. Now three months in, I'm happy and getting used to a whole new side of the music industry. It wasn't the easiest move and I miss my old colleagues more than I expected to but my new colleagues are [mostly] great and this is a great experience. the main benefit of this situation is, I don't have to work 70 hours a week anymore!!!

3) Babies
My gorgeous little sister is pregnant. Oh dear. She is 17 and has her whole life infront of her. I can't say i'm over-the-moon about the situation but credit where it is due, she is one of the most clued up people I know and is showing a maturity beyong her years. I don't doubt for a second that she will be a fantastic Mum.

4) Travels
I was lucky enough to get to go to Cannes at the end of January for work. We went for a trade show and while it was busy and there were far too many meetings to be had, it's hard to complain when you are on the French riviera outside a bar soaking up the sun while talking numbers! It was an incredible place. Almost unreal. Everyone looked as though they had stepped off a catwalk, beer was 16euros and it wasn't uncommon to spend 40euro on a gin and tonic. Thank god for expenses!

5) Hanson
Yes... The "kids that sang Mmmbop". Well they are still going strong and I was over the moon to finally get to meet them. I've followed their musical career for the last 14 years and it was a pleasure to discover that they were just as lovely and pleasant as they have always seemed. Now, how to work with them? Hmm. The frustrating thing is, is that I was in with a chance of working with the band, however there are others after them too. I KNOW I would do better job than anyone else on this. There aren't many people in the industry who know the catalogue, the fans, target market and of course the values inside out the way I do. But how to convince them of that without sounding like a crazed fan?

6) Grandpa
One of the most upsetting and heartbreaking experiences of my life, was losing my Grandpa. He passed away peacefully late last year and honestly, I have never felt pain like it. I still miss him and still think I see him and do a double take when I see some elderly man in London. I don't think he ever even visited this city! Just wishful thinking.. R.I.P Grandpa, you will be missed forever.

7) Dad

Still ill, still ungrateful, still complaining, still pretty much useless. He has perked up a little bit now that is due to become a Grandpa himself. Maybe he will take this chance to man up and be the person he can and should be? fingers crossed!!

8) Pets
I have now got a hamster... named Hammond. That's about all I can say on this subject.

9) Weight
I have managed to gain approximately 45lbs in the last 8months. That's not cool... nor comfortable. It's either thanks to contentment... or takeaways.

10) Mum
Myself and my Mum have never been very open with oneanother. As Mothers go, she was amazing, however she has never really known much about me, including some major life changing experiences. We have agreed to go on a holiday together at the end of this month to spend time with each other and perhaps get to know each other better. i'm not overly enthusiastic, there is just too much to tell, but nonetheless, it's lovely that we are both making the effort.

So there we go, that's 10 facts from the past year which brings me back to present day.

What have I missed?

GA X

“When in doubt, don't.” Benjamin Franklin

I meant to write a blog entry last week when I was elated. I am sure it is not just me that gets tired of being negative. I much prefer being a positive 'happy-go-lucky' kind of person. Especially when so much is going well.

Is it just human nature that tell us when the majority of things are going well, we should focus on the few things that are going badly?

Anyway, I got sidetracked with philosophy!

Here is what happened last week:

In work as part of staff development we have annual reviews. I received mine on Friday the 27th and it went far better than I expected. I was told that I would be a 'great asset to any company' and that when dealing with a major crisis in the industry I worked with maturity and organisation beyond my years, and made life easier for the companies we work with. When someone hears this about themselves it is an amazing feeling. It's a boost, a sign that you're on the right track, a sign that your hard work is really paying off. I was immensely flattered.

Only a few days before that we had a committee meeting regarding one our annual events, a huge celebration of our sector. (I am learning to write very little about my profession as I'm aware that newspapers are currently scouring any site that mentions it to look for good stories and exclusives on events... sad? Yes. A pain in the backside? Most definitely.) It is a big deal and will hopefully be featuring some extremely high profile names.

“If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.” Anon

In just over a month we will be employing an outside event manager to look after everything but in the mean time, they have given that job to me! I could not believe my luck. It is back to live music, back to what I know and adore. Back to what I am passionate about. However one week later... Ouch.

I am completely aware I'm punching well above my weight... I'm no longer dealing with acts on the Scottish circuit, but instead, internationally renowned acts. Acts which sell millions of albums and play the major festivals and are featured in Billboard, Q and Mojo. The acts that used to be stuck on my bedroom walls. I used to save up all of my pocket money to buy the latest release from these amazing human beings and now... I have no clue what I'm doing.

“Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage.”

When I calm down and rationally consider that task, it does seem possible. It's not massively dissimilar to my own gigs. Instead of a £2000 budget, it is £20,000. Instead of paying the acts £500, its more like £10,000. Booking the acts doesn't really phase me, it's approaching the labels. I feel like a phony. I've blagged this. I'm a meer graduate coordinating a huge event. How is this even possible?

“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt” William Shakespeare

I just have to get my head down and get on with it.

Everyone doubts themselves. I know that. I have to grow up and learn that this is how things are. If I want to succeed I have to stop waiting for people to tell me I'm doing a good job and just get on with it

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Andre Gide

“If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies” Anon

I feel like I should move onto another subject rather than just lack of social network a more positive part of my life - my career.

To sum up the past few years:

• I love live music,
• I started running gigs,
• I started running tours,
• I left uni and took my lovely little business seriously
• It didn’t work out – I worked in the pharmacy (while still running the gigs)
• I applied for a music business job and was offered it.
• In 3 very short weeks I quit my job, left my company and got my ass to London.

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights. ~Pauline R. Kezer

Since working for this fantastic company, I have received more experience than I could have imagined and have been given far more responsibility than I wanted !

Since being here, my career aspirations have changed. I now want to work for a political organisation.

As a very politically minded person anyway and completely aware of how politics affects our everyday lives, I feel that I want to get right in there, and help ‘fix’ the music biz in some small, most likely pathetic kind of way!

I love my job, I love this company and I love it ‘style’. Yes, this company does definitely have style. I’m so proud to be a part of the company and I’m lucky in the respect that I am being given more responsibility every week.

I have went from working in Scottish live music scene to working in the UK recorded sector assisting in dealing with International and Legal. I am also CEO’s personal assistant that is far better than I could have imagined.

Alison (the CEO) is the person who provides the company with style. There is never any b*llsh*t with her, she never shows off, she really doesn’t care what people think of her or the company, but she genuinely cares about the independent music business and effortlessly deals with a massive work load and the pressure of her position as one of the very few high standing female experts in the sector. To top it all off, she a is truly lovely woman!

My job is great. No doubt about it. I am learning more everyday and gradually getting to grips with politics and the music business on a national and European level, which will hopefully assist me in getting another job in 8 months time when my contract here is finished.

Fingers crossed!!!

“Sir, the noblest prospect that a Scotchman ever sees, is the high road that leads him to London.” Samuel Johnson

I was well aware throughout my time at university that if I wanted to get to heart of the music music business I would eventually have to move to London.

Not only that, I WANTED to come to London, and I was ready to give up my almost perfectly constructed life in Scotland and hit the ground running with my career.

“I came to London. It had become the center of my world and I had worked hard to come to it. And I was lost.”
V.S. Naipaul

London as a city has been everything I could have hoped for and more. In the average week you communicate with literally 100s of cultures, and I’m sure that the phrase “learn something new everyday” was coined in this mad, confusing and strangely formed city.

While I love London and wouldn’t change my situation for anything (well, OK, slight exaggeration) I have felt so lost. Not career-wise, just life-wise.

I have a small but lovely friendship group. This ‘group’ consists of two people; Andrew – a 2nd generation Scot, whose parents come from two towns very close to where I went to University – and Jacob, a boy who was born in London and raised with firm Polish traditions.

To make friends (and some much needed extra money), I took a second job in a pub, Pickwicks Wine Bar. Here I have met lovely people that I can chat to if I see them on the street, but no close friends that I could ring a go for a coffee with. (Something which has been very much part of my social life for the last few years.)

In Scotland, it would not be out of the ordinary for me to go for coffee with different friends 3 or 4 times a day. I've always found coffee shops the perfect places to catch up and gossip over a steaming hot latte and a berry muffin. I miss this more than anything.

My amazing Canadian friend Melanie and I used to have regular study breaks from Uni and head round to Beanscene, or to Costa and just rest, relax and let out the majority of our emotions – I say majority because I remember all emotions being aired, other than anger.

Here, there is no one to do this with. I go home from work and if Andrew and Jacob have plans; I sit in my house and idly watch TV. Bored.

I’m lucky enough that Andrew often takes pity on me and I now consider him one of my very good friends.

I feel like an intruder into his and Jacobs lives. I know that they don’t mind me spending time with them, but I know as soon as I leave them, they are back to the way they should be and I am certainly not a part of that.

I’m a very social person and this constant boredom is really getting me down. I miss my friends, my support network so terribly.

Without them around me, it's almost as though I don't have my proper identity. No-one here really knows me and I don't really see how I can ever expect them to understand me.