The Comforting Routine of Home

The landscape become more mountainous and the villages and towns become fewer and further between. Gaidhlig slowly creeps into the street signs and everything becomes quiet and beautiful... I know I am on my way home.

Each time I go home I have a routine:
I walk to the back door and marvel for a moment at the garden and the surrounding landscape. I then take a few paces into the kitchen and have a drink of water from the tap... so fresh, so clean and so ice cold. From here I boil the kettle, and make a cup of coffee which I take through the living room and drink while sitting on the mega comfy sofa.

After another coffee and a bite to eat I tend to head upstairs for the most relaxing bubble bath in my old small but incredibly clean and fresh bathroom. Afterward I head through to my old bedroom and get changed into the same comfy pajamas I have worn on each visit home for the past two years (I don't visit much, they are like new :)

Then it is time to curl up in front of the roaring coal fire before heading to my amazing bed to sleep like a baby.

“A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.”

Curling up in my bed last Friday night, I felt… peaceful. I think that would be the best word to describe it. Everything was buzzing around me, but lying there I could not help but feel that if I stayed there, everything would work out just fine.

Unfortunately that was my bed in northwest Scotland rather than in London. Leaving my house on Monday was difficult, it was as though for the short time I was there I slipped back into childhood and leaving was like walking away from it again, back into a world where everything seems to be crumbing.

Going home is a strange thing for me now. It conjures the old memories, which in is unpleasant to some extent, but at the same time, it is where I recognise everything, I know everyone and I feel cared for.

Memory is man's greatest friend and worst enemy.
Gilbert Parker

I become a small child again - my Mum making me a cup of milky tea in the morning, looking out of the kitchen window and seeing a the hills, the chapel and the fields.

When someone is in their childhood bed, with the duvet wrapped all the way up to their face, nothing else can go wrong, they are unable to annoy people, and nobody can get to them. They are able to be alone with their thoughts, safe in the knowledge that if they leave their bedroom, family and friends will surround them. Nothing bad can happen there now. It is my truly peaceful place.

Childhood has no forebodings; but then, it is soothed by no memories of outlived sorrow.
George Eliot

Strangely enough, home usually evokes memories of Scott, but memories of when we were happy and I felt completely safe:


I am not mourning our relationship, but I do miss his friendship and admittedly I miss feeling as secure as I felt at the time this photo was taken.

While in London I am making a definite push to not discuss anything I have going on personally. I refuse to become known to everyone here as a misery guts. Some people know too much about me as it is and I cannot allow this to any further. My friends here are too precious to me – if I become a nightmare, there is a high chance I will lose their company.

Speaking of precious friends I’m going for dinner with a friend that I haven’t had a chance to catch up with for a while. It’ll be lovely. He is a good guy and someone you know that you can trust implicitly. I am really looking forward to it, it will be a lovely night.

10 Things I Love and Miss About Scotland

The concept of 'Home is Where the Heart is' has concerned me over the past few weeks. I have realised that I am becoming more and more at home in London. Does that mean my heart is here? 

I would find it very difficult to leave London, and I have not yet been here a year. I still miss Scotland and all things Scottish of course but these days they seem less important than they did before. 

To remind myself of why I will always want to call Scotland home I have made a list of 10 things I love and miss about Scotland. When I first wrote these, they also acted as a relief to homesickness!

• Scottish News
  

Newspapers are television are far less ‘British’ in Scotland. A fact I did not realise until living in London. The Scottish Parliament, the fish farms, Glasgow, Edinburgh - I miss it all being discussed (in a Scottish accent of course) It can be a struggle to relate to full UK politics as opposed to issues that affect your ‘local’ area.
Tip: Keep BBC Scotland website as home page. I have to keep up to date some how!

• Scottish Football
  

Football is without a doubt Scotland’s national sport and the title race was often a talking point in conversation with my family. It is different now. I used to love going to the pub to watch the old firm matches. Down here it is all Irish bars and walking into a sea of green is more than a little daunting for ‘gers girl. The atmosphere that surrounds the sport in Scotland is very different to down south.
Tip: Keep up to date with what is going on with your team and persuade a neutral friend to come along and watch the game in a non ‘team themed’ bar!

• Socialising
  

The comfy sofas in Beanscene – the high tables in the tree house – the uncomfortable benches in Wellies – the long sharp grass at Wellingston Square. I miss it all! Going places you recongise, with people you have known for years is comforting. It gives you a sense that everything is OK. Nothing is changing too 7803 1300quickly and you can deal with it. Suddenly everything becomes new when you leave and I found that particularly hard to deal with.
Tip: Get a regular coffee shop / pub / bench in one of London's gorgeous Royal Parks and pay attention to the new routines that you witness.

• The Beach
  

Living by the coast is something you cannot truly appreciate until you are no longer there. Having lived by the coast my whole life I never realised how important it was to me. The long walks, watching the boats coming in, listening to seagulls and watching the sun set are all things I truly miss. There is something so calming about the sea that the Thames can simply not match.
Tip: Go to Chiswick and take a long walk west along strand on the green. Its gorgeous and semi-relaxing. Failing that, hop on a train to Brighton!

• The Food
  

Who new Scottish food was so different from food in England? For one thing, no tattie scones or square sausage. (Rule number 1 – do NOT be fooled into buying spermarket square sausage in an English supermarket. It is awful!) Even restaurants are different! It could well be that they don’t fry everything as they do in Scotland. Either way… it is not the same.
Tip: Whenever you have friends or family coming to visit, encourage them to take the train and bring you a Scottish food parcel. Lovely! Failing that - make your own!

• The Old Regular Haunts
  

The places I used to love going such as Ronaldo’s in Ayr for some new and exotic flavour of homemade ice-cream, or The West Kirk for burger and pint.
Tip: See above in Socialising! Also, find novelty places, such as cafes that specialise in chocolate ☺ treat yourself every once in a while.

• Glass Bottles of Irn Bru
  

They don’t exist in England. You can buy cans in most shops (not in pubs or restaurants) but you cannot get a glass bottle and every Scottish person knows it tastes best out a glass bottle. It is my number one cure for a hangover and it is non-existent. Bad news!
Tip: As with Food – get friends and family to bring it to you!

• General Courtesy
  

Everything from people saying sorry when they barge you on the street to complete strangers saying good morning on the streets. That doesn’t happen in London – not even in Chiswick!
Tip: Do as you would do in Scotland. Graciously apologies if you collide with someone. Thank people for holding doors, say hello to friendly looking people if you are the only two on the street. It makes them a little happier and you never know – they might follow your lead with the next person they see.

• Live Music
  

The atmosphere at a gig! People say that the Scots are the best crowds in the world – I can see why now! The venues are amazing, the bars are cheaper, the sound is phenomenal and crowd are immensely supportive.
Tip: Go to small local band gigs. The band’s friends provide the same atmosphere in a far smaller level.

• The Humour
  

Sarcasm is a permanent fixture in a Scot’s personality. Apparently it doesn’t work like that down here! I had to learn this the hard way!!!
Tip: Save it for when you visit Scotland.