Catching Up is Hard to Do

The Future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.C.S. Lewis

Trying to catch up on the past eight months is not do-able for the time being, however here are 10 points, in no particular order, to bring me back up to speed.

1) Home
I now live with the lovely man in the post prior to this one. He is as ever, incredible. Some cracks are beginning to show (i.e. he can't cook, clean and enjoys partying a bit much for me) but all in all, he is great and everything is going well.

2) Career
Late last year I was offered a job by a fantastic digital distribution company. Now three months in, I'm happy and getting used to a whole new side of the music industry. It wasn't the easiest move and I miss my old colleagues more than I expected to but my new colleagues are [mostly] great and this is a great experience. the main benefit of this situation is, I don't have to work 70 hours a week anymore!!!

3) Babies
My gorgeous little sister is pregnant. Oh dear. She is 17 and has her whole life infront of her. I can't say i'm over-the-moon about the situation but credit where it is due, she is one of the most clued up people I know and is showing a maturity beyong her years. I don't doubt for a second that she will be a fantastic Mum.

4) Travels
I was lucky enough to get to go to Cannes at the end of January for work. We went for a trade show and while it was busy and there were far too many meetings to be had, it's hard to complain when you are on the French riviera outside a bar soaking up the sun while talking numbers! It was an incredible place. Almost unreal. Everyone looked as though they had stepped off a catwalk, beer was 16euros and it wasn't uncommon to spend 40euro on a gin and tonic. Thank god for expenses!

5) Hanson
Yes... The "kids that sang Mmmbop". Well they are still going strong and I was over the moon to finally get to meet them. I've followed their musical career for the last 14 years and it was a pleasure to discover that they were just as lovely and pleasant as they have always seemed. Now, how to work with them? Hmm. The frustrating thing is, is that I was in with a chance of working with the band, however there are others after them too. I KNOW I would do better job than anyone else on this. There aren't many people in the industry who know the catalogue, the fans, target market and of course the values inside out the way I do. But how to convince them of that without sounding like a crazed fan?

6) Grandpa
One of the most upsetting and heartbreaking experiences of my life, was losing my Grandpa. He passed away peacefully late last year and honestly, I have never felt pain like it. I still miss him and still think I see him and do a double take when I see some elderly man in London. I don't think he ever even visited this city! Just wishful thinking.. R.I.P Grandpa, you will be missed forever.

7) Dad

Still ill, still ungrateful, still complaining, still pretty much useless. He has perked up a little bit now that is due to become a Grandpa himself. Maybe he will take this chance to man up and be the person he can and should be? fingers crossed!!

8) Pets
I have now got a hamster... named Hammond. That's about all I can say on this subject.

9) Weight
I have managed to gain approximately 45lbs in the last 8months. That's not cool... nor comfortable. It's either thanks to contentment... or takeaways.

10) Mum
Myself and my Mum have never been very open with oneanother. As Mothers go, she was amazing, however she has never really known much about me, including some major life changing experiences. We have agreed to go on a holiday together at the end of this month to spend time with each other and perhaps get to know each other better. i'm not overly enthusiastic, there is just too much to tell, but nonetheless, it's lovely that we are both making the effort.

So there we go, that's 10 facts from the past year which brings me back to present day.

What have I missed?

GA X

It's Been a Good Year Gone Bad

So first post of 2010 is so long overdue!
I’ll keep this one short.

For me, 2010 began full of blind optimism and complete faith that this would be a great year. I mean this one is different right? The end of 2009 was not only the end of a year, but the end of a decade! So much to look forward to!

How has 2010 treated you so far? Good? Bad?

For me the best word is tough. It has been a tough 6 weeks (is that really all it has been?) so far and a lot has happened. Very little of it good. In short, my sister and Dad are not doing so well and as their only family I have the responsibility of looking out for them. With my gorgeous little sister this is not an issue.. with my less than gorgeous Father… it is a big problem. My amazing housemate has now moved out as well, and I miss him a lot more than I thought I would. Finally work has been kicking me in the ass big style.

Regardless of all of the above - I STILL feel optimistic. When I reach the end of 2010, I am sure I will have achieved something. This year is a year for achievement against the odds. Not just for me, but for my sister, for my now ex-housemate, and I guess, perhaps even my Dad! Who knows!

"Another fresh new year is here....
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest...
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree
And sing more joyful songs!

William Arthur Ward

Happy 2010 everyone. It’s a new decade… let’s make this one count!

"That's Why You Turn & Run"

Here is a bit of background on the character that will shortly become the subject of my anger and frustration fueled rant...

3 ex wives
3 years in prison
2 daughters (1 to his second wife, 1 to his third)
1 is 15 and until last weekend the two had never met
1 amazing partner who bends over backwards to look after him
5 strokes in 2 years
4 month hospital stay
3 Spinal operations
0 thanks for all people do for him

Getting back in touch with a 'Father' after seven years of wondering what might have been is nothing short of amazing. The 'child' is full of anticipation and excitement about meeting someone who will pleased to see them, someone who 'should' have been by their side for years. The excitement becomes short lived a Mum warns that this man would promise me the world and deliver on nothing. Thank goodness I was warned.

Thankfully I have never required him to be there as a Father figure... I always had an amazing Dad in my life, my mums husband who is more than I could have hoped for.

My gorgeous little sister is in a different situation. For the past seven or eight year she has coped remarkably well without her Dad and is a strong and switched on young lady, however, she has now has the heartbreak of losing her mother leaving no parental influence in her life. This amazing young lady has got back in touch with my Dad in an attempt to feel like she belongs to a family... unfortunately my Dad is possibly the least reliable man on the planet

“The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.”
Thomas Hardy

He does not deserve her love, he does not even deserve mine for all he has done in his life. We have both given him a second chance (or in my case 5th or 6th chance) and he couldn't appreciate it less. I do not need him... she does.

People like this will never change, we all know it although at times it would be nice if they were at least grateful for what they have, for the people they have around them who will keep forgiving, those who are looking after them when they are ill, backing them up when they are stuck in a tight spot but no... they won't. People like this truly believe they are entitled to what they have. They remain adamant that nothing is their fault. They do not admit to anything, they have no integrity and no sense of responsibility. They will happily take take take for their entire lives without ever learning the word "give."

At some point the people who look out for them, the people that have their back, will give up. They will leave the offending man's life forever and not even consider looking back.

Rant Over.

A Childhood Away

15 years… a lot can happen in 15 years.

A child can get receive their full education in that time. Including Primary School, High School and then University.

In 15 years a bump in a Mother’s tummy can go from nothing more than a cause for great excitement to becoming a beautiful, happy and strong young woman.

That first child can wait 15 years to meet what she knew as the bump in a Mother’s tummy. She can spend years asking about what the baby will look like now, she can remember each year that the little bump will be getting older. She can count down the years until she feels that little bump will be old enough for her to make contact… then after 15 years of waiting, a full 15 years of anticipation… that bump that is her beautiful little sister can suddenly come into her life and everything automatically fits into place. Everything feels right!

My gorgeous sister (left) with her best friend (right)

That’s correct folks, I have waited 15 years to meet my ‘baby’ sister and now in past week I have discovered where she is, had an amazing phone conversation with her, and have received at least one SMS everyday since Wednesday. In only six short weeks, I will be meeting her for the first time.

"In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips"

I could not be more excited! I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed.

Thank you lord!